Quest 2016: Miss You

Quest 2016 Theme, Day 6: Miss You, from Visionary Seth Godin 

Today’s prompt comes from Seth Godin, author of 18 bestselling books, including two of my personal favorites, Tribes, and Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable.

Today’s prompt:

Would they miss you if you were gone? What would have to change for that question to lead to a better answer?

This one was painful to contemplate. But I’m glad to have the opportunity, because connection and fellowship is something I deeply desire to have more of in my life, and it has to start with me.

Family and friends would miss me, I’m sure. But I also know that I am not nearly as connected, involved and there for my family and friends as I would like to be.

As an introvert and a writer, I spend lots of time alone. But the truth is, much of the time, I simply don’t make the effort to connect with others socially; I’m far too passive in that area.

I wait for the invitations to get together to come to me. And they do, often enough.

But when they don’t? I’m happy to spend time on my own, reading, writing, and indulging my addiction to Bravo TV. And I don’t feel lonely, which keeps me mired in the same habit of always being the responder to, and never the instigator of, plans.

I’m not proud of this.

Going back to my response to the last prompt, one of my core desired feelings is connection, something I have less of than I’d like in my life right now, but only because I don’t “put myself out there.”

For example, at the end of 2014, I promised myself I would visit with out-of-town family and friends at least 6 times in 2015, and I made those visits just twice this year. I could have easily planned a couple of additional short trips, but didn’t.

In many ways, I’m a ghost already. A present ghost, but a ghost.

So, if I’m so seldom around to start with, how much would my loved ones actually miss me if I were gone? Maybe not so much, and maybe the missing would evaporate quickly.

Hmm, that sure doesn’t feel too good to write.

What would have to change to lead to a better answer to this question then, is for me to follow through on my commitment to be “there” more for my loved ones, both the local ones and the distant ones. To call them up, just because. To visit them, even when it’s not a special occasion or holiday. To regularly inquire how they are, what they’ve been up to, what they might need. To write them letters. [Oh, how I miss letters!] To send cards on birthdays and graduations and other important milestones. To reach out much more frequently, and be the asker and inviter, rather than merely the passive accepter, of invitations.

Essentially, to be less cadaverous and more present & alive to the important relationships in my life.

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